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Truth or Else Quiz Show - skit

by Ron Kurtus (1971)

(Not finished. Germ of an idea.)

(Several actors sneak into the audience as plants. Art Chainletter comes out.)

ART: Tell the truth...!

AUDIENCE: Or else!

ART: This is the Truth or Else Quiz Shaw. You tell the truth or else we give you the treatment, if you know what I mean, ha, ha, ha. But last week Mr. and Mrs. Alfons Zamora told the truth and received an all expenses paid trip to Istanbul, Turkey so that they could visit their son who has been arrested there for smuggling narcotics. Isn’t that wonderful folks? We also promised that when their son gets out in 99 years, he can be a contestant on this show! How about that?

(Applause from audience)

Now our first contestant of tonight, selected from out studio audience is...

(Reads card)

 is... Miss Loretta Old. Is Miss Old in the audience?

MISS OLD: That’s me! That me! (Waving hand furiously.)

ART: Miss Old? I guess she must have stepped out.

MISS OLD: That me! Here I am.

(Runs up to stage.)

ART: Are you Miss Old?

MISS OLD: (very excited) Yes, yes. I'm Miss Old.

ART: She told the truth, folks. How about that! Give her a hand. For that you receive a new color TV set. Now would you like to risk that prize on a different prize?

MISS OLD: What's the other prize?

ART: We understand that you are a spinster, Miss Old.

MISS OLD: All my life.

ART: Well, if you answer the next question correctly, we will book you on the swinging singles' ocean cruise around the world, and we'll guarantee you a date with a different man every night of the cruise.

MISS OLD: Men?

ART: Now, do you want to risk that color TV set on this cruise?

MISS OLD: Men? Dates?

ART: Well, what do you say, Miss Old?

MISS OLD: Men? Dates? Yes. Yes, yes, yes: (nodding vigorously)

ART: Now, our question is: What is...

(Mouths words, while a loud rumble is heard on PA system.)

MISS OLD: Huh?:Would you repeat the question?

ART: You've got 15 seconds Miss Old.

MISS OLD: I didn’t hear the...

ART: (Sympathetically) I'm sorry, but your time is up. You didn’t tell the truth.

(Person comes out of wings with huge powder puff)

So now it's '"or else".

(She is smacked in the face with the powder puff.)

ART: Let's have a big hand for a great sport.

(Miss Old goes back to audience and then exits.)

ART: Well, well, well. Let's see who our next contestant is...

(Note: can take a few from the audience and give them small prizes. One may get a free drink from the bar.)