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(This is an idea for a skit. It is a take-off on the old Ted Mack Amateur Hour. That might have been too corny or such. Also, I'm not sure where I was going with this.)

Ted Smack's Amateur Hour - idea

by Ron Kurtus (1971)

(Smack is standing at a podium; rings a gong with hammer.)

SMACK: Good evening all you wonderful people, and welcome to the 765th consecutive Ted Smack's Amateur Hour, brought to you by your friendly Amateur Brain Surgeon Organization."Why pay top dollar when you can have an Amateur do the job for cheaper?"

And now for the first amateur for the night... And remember folks that your cards, letters and phone calls will count as votes encouragement for these young people and will help in the selection of the winner of tonight's Ted Smack's Amateur Hour. And a reminder note to the parents of these young hopefuls - make all payoff and bribe checks payable to Ted Smack, Inc.

And now on with our first amateur!

(Rings gong)

Little Lulu Parker from Albuquerque New Mexico!

(Male act comes on.)

(Note: among the actual acts there will be a few plants that freeze or are so bad that they require the "hook".)

(Some acts will be introduced, some not. Smack will remain off-stage from now on.)