by Ron Kurtus (9 Jun 1971)
Human nature humor
CONCEPT: Conversation between a Hawk and Dove on Vietnam. Both are
trying to be friendly and agreeable, but neither is listening or
comprehending what the other is saying.
HARRY: Hey, Bill!
BILL: Harry! Long time, no see.
HARRY: Hey Bill, what you been doing with yourself?
BILL: Not a hell of a lot. What about you?
HARRY: Oh, the same old drag. Working. Weekends at the beach. You
still working at the same place?
BILL: Yeah. Same old job. That's the establishment for you.
HARRY: I guess I'm pretty established in my job too. But that's the
idea - get a job and stick to it.
BILL: Uh huh. Say, you look a little down. Any problems?
HARRY: Aw hell, I was just reading the headlines in the LA Times.
BILL: Yeah, it gets pretty depressing.
HARRY: This damn war just gets me down.
BILL: Well, first it was Johnson's war; now Nixon's just taken over
where LBJ left off.
HARRY: That's true. The President has to follow along the right course.
BILL: Well the whole Right-wing organization has a lot to do with
this deal. I wouldn't be surprised if Goldwater's running the whole
HARRY: Boy, if he was! Then there'd be action.
BILL: He'd be dropping bombs en the villages, killing all those people...
HARRY: He'd fix those Commies.
BILL: That's what those guys worry so much about - the Commies.
HARRY: Well, what about the "Yellow Peril"?
BILL: That's another one. Next thing is that they'll want to bomb
HARRY: It's risky business, that's for sure.
BILL: Of course, they will aim for the villages and hospitals. Anything
to make the people suffer.
HARRY: ...in order to hinder the military operations.
BILL: The whole deal is just as bad as the Calley case.
HARRY: I know it was a screw-up, but what's the connection:
BILL: Well, look at what he did to those women and children that village.
HARRY: Yeah, he certainly cleaned out the area. There won't be any
infiltration from that town again.
BILL: ...and then Nixon lets him free. Why did they even bother having
the trial, as far as that goes.
HARRY: I know. It was the Press. They were trying to make a scapegoat
out of him. If the President hadn't stepped in there...
BILL: There's no justice in America anymore. It's like with the Black
HARRY: Yeah, that's a bad situation.
BILL: Their trouble with the police is pure harassment.
HARRY: True, true. Like their bomb threats, for instance...
BILL: ...and the illegal raids. The whole thing is a travesty of justice.
HARRY: Hell, the juries are even afraid in those cases.
BILL: Everybody's afraid. It's almost like we've got a Gestapo.
HARRY: Those Panthers are pretty rough cookies.
BILL: But, I don't think they can stand up against the police. The
cops just have too many guns and men.
HARRY: Well, I think that justice will prevail in the end.
BILL: I certainly hope so. If people like you and I keep pushing for
peace and freedom, maybe somebody will listen.
HARRY: I agree. We just keep pushing and we'll have our victory.
BILL: It's been nice talking to you again, Harry. It's good to talk
to a fellow who makes some sense.
HARRY: I knew. Politically, we're like that. (puts two fingers up)
BILL: Well, so long. (gives the peace sign)