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Different Politics

by Ron Kurtus (9 Jun 1971)

Human nature humor

CONCEPT: Conversation between a Hawk and Dove on Vietnam. Both are trying to be friendly and agreeable, but neither is listening or comprehending what the other is saying.

HARRY: Hey, Bill!

BILL: Harry! Long time, no see.

HARRY: Hey Bill, what you been doing with yourself?

BILL: Not a hell of a lot. What about you?

HARRY: Oh, the same old drag. Working. Weekends at the beach. You still working at the same place?

BILL: Yeah. Same old job. That's the establishment for you.

HARRY: I guess I'm pretty established in my job too. But that's the idea - get a job and stick to it.

BILL: Uh huh. Say, you look a little down. Any problems?

HARRY: Aw hell, I was just reading the headlines in the LA Times.

BILL: Yeah, it gets pretty depressing.

HARRY: This damn war just gets me down.

BILL: Well, first it was Johnson's war; now Nixon's just taken over where LBJ left off.

HARRY: That's true. The President has to follow along the right course.

BILL: Well the whole Right-wing organization has a lot to do with this deal. I wouldn't be surprised if Goldwater's running the whole show.

HARRY: Boy, if he was! Then there'd be action.

BILL: He'd be dropping bombs en the villages, killing all those people...

HARRY: He'd fix those Commies.

BILL: That's what those guys worry so much about - the Commies.

HARRY: Well, what about the "Yellow Peril"?

BILL: That's another one. Next thing is that they'll want to bomb China.

HARRY: It's risky business, that's for sure.

BILL: Of course, they will aim for the villages and hospitals. Anything to make the people suffer.

HARRY: ...in order to hinder the military operations.

BILL: The whole deal is just as bad as the Calley case.

HARRY: I know it was a screw-up, but what's the connection:

BILL: Well, look at what he did to those women and children that village.

HARRY: Yeah, he certainly cleaned out the area. There won't be any infiltration from that town again.

BILL: ...and then Nixon lets him free. Why did they even bother having the trial, as far as that goes.

HARRY: I know. It was the Press. They were trying to make a scapegoat out of him. If the President hadn't stepped in there...

BILL: There's no justice in America anymore. It's like with the Black Panthers.

HARRY: Yeah, that's a bad situation.

BILL: Their trouble with the police is pure harassment.

HARRY: True, true. Like their bomb threats, for instance...

BILL: ...and the illegal raids. The whole thing is a travesty of justice.

HARRY: Hell, the juries are even afraid in those cases.

BILL: Everybody's afraid. It's almost like we've got a Gestapo.

HARRY: Those Panthers are pretty rough cookies.

BILL: But, I don't think they can stand up against the police. The cops just have too many guns and men.

HARRY: Well, I think that justice will prevail in the end.

BILL: I certainly hope so. If people like you and I keep pushing for peace and freedom, maybe somebody will listen.

HARRY: I agree. We just keep pushing and we'll have our victory.

BILL: It's been nice talking to you again, Harry. It's good to talk to a fellow who makes some sense.

HARRY: I knew. Politically, we're like that. (puts two fingers up)

BILL: Well, so long. (gives the peace sign)


3 minutes