by Ron Kurtus (15 May 1971)
MOTHER: Jake. Junior wants to know if he can go to the movies. I said
it was ok with me.
FATHER: What's wrong? He can't ask me himself? He has to have his
mother ask me?
MOTHER: Well, I said it was ok with me, and I'd ask you.
FATHER: The boy is old enough to ask for himself. He knows how to
talk. What are you going to do - buy his ticket at the window for him
(Son has obviously been listening at the door. He rushes in)
SON: You mean I can go, Dad?
FATHER: I said no such thing! What do you want to go to the movie
for anyways? It's bad for your eyes. Watch TV instead.
SON: Aw guy, Dad. All the fellows are going.
FATHER: Don't guy me - with your slang. You got better things to do
than to run around with those hooligans.
SON: Rev Peterson's boy, Tommy, will be going.
FATHER: See, even the Pastor's son is going bad. In my day, we had
better things to do than run around like a bunch of wild Indians.
MOTHER: Jake, I don't think it will do the boy any harm to go to the
movies with the rest of the youngsters. He's finished his chores.
SON: Yeah, I finished my chores.
FATHER: What are you - an echo? And you keep out of this, Mother.
This is between father and son.
MOTHER: Well, I gave my permission, Junior. Now it's up to your father.
I've got work to do in the kitchen.
SON: It'll only be for 3 hours, Dad.
FATHER: What's playing that you are so anxious to see?
SON: It's called "Zound Sounds". It's all about the last
rock and roll festival. Most of the top stars are in it.
FATHER: Sound sound? No wonder you talk like an echo. Why don't you
see something educational for once, instead of rock and roll! Go to
the Museum and see a National Geographic film.
SON: Aw, guy, Dad. That's no fun. Besides, "Zound Sounds" is
only showing this one time, and I can always go to the museum movies.
They're all the same, anyways.
FATHER: Why do you have to go to a movie for rock and roll? Don't
you get enough of it on the radio? I know, I certainly do, with all
that screeching and hollering coming out of your room. You know, Junior,
you listen to that stuff too much and it'll effect your brain. (Nods)
Mark my words. I read it in a magazine.
SON: But the movie's got the top stars in person. I've never seen
the Running Stones except on Ed Sullivan. And James Carpenter sings
his new song "When You Need a Friend".
FATHER: Such songs! Whatever happened to the good songs, like "Mule
Train" or "On Top of Old Smokey"? Now there was music
you could appreciate. Mark my words, those new songs will affect your
SON: I got straight A's last semester.
FATHER: You should, for the second time around in that grade.
SON: Dad, I'll make a deal with you.
FATHER: You'll make a deal? Are you going to buy your father off?
(Raises hands in exasperation) What sort of son am I raising? He wants
to buy off his father so he can go to the rock and roll show. (Turns
to son) How much you give me?
SON: No, I meant that I'll make a deal that, if you let me go to the
movie, I promise to go down to the museum next Saturday and see their
SON: OK, I'll go down to the museum for the next two Saturdays.
FATHER: Junior, what sort of father do you think I am? That you have
to promise to see an educational film, so you can see a movie you want?
No. You're a good boy, and if you want to go see that movie, go right
SON: Oh, great, Dad!
FATHER: How much does it cost for a ticket?
FATHER: $2.50? Can't you get in for half-price anymore? No, I guess
not. Well, here's $3. Go and have a good time.
SON: Oh, gee, Dad! Thanks a lot.
FATHER: But one thing I want to know about the movie...
(Mother walks in from kitchen)
...is there any dirty stuff in this movie?
SON: Dirty stuff?
FATHER: You know, sex, nudes...
MOTHER: Jake! What are you trying to say to our little boy?
(She cuddles Junior)
FATHER: ...any swearing... you know.
MOTHER: Junior would never want to go to a movie with that sort of
trash in it! And for you to even think that he...
FATHER: Well, Junior?
MOTHER: You don't have to:, interrogate the boy. He's a good boy.
He wouldn’t want to see that type of filth. What are your trying
to do Jake? You're just trying to find some excuse not to let him go
to that movie.
Go, son. Mother gives her permission.
SON: But, Mom, Dad...
MOTHER: I'll deal with your father. Go to the movie, no matter what
your father says. I'll deal with him, myself.
FATHER: Now, Mother... I already told him...
MOTHER: You're dust too stubborn to let the boy do anything. First
you won't let him got then you accuse him of wanting to see (spits
out word) ...smut.
FATHER: Damn it! Will you listen?!
MOTHER: And the way you swear!
(Covers Junior's ears)
FATHER: I already told the boy that he could go to the movie.
MOTHER: You did? Did he Junior?
SON: That's right, Mom. And he even gave me 3 bucks.
MOTHER: (apologizing) Well, I'm sorry, Jake. I didn’t know...
FATHER: Well son, what about the movie? Is there any dirty stuff in
SON: Oh just the usual.
SON: A few nude scenes. A little swearing, but most of it’s
FATHER: Sounds harmless enough...
MOTHER: Junior! Give me that $3. You're not going to that filthy movie!
SON: Aw guy, Mom.
MOTHER: Don't guy me with your slang.
(Mother and Son exit. Father gives "what can you do?" shrug)