Home Page | About Ron | School for Champions | SfC Publishing | Kurtus Technologies | Biographical History | People

Ron Kurtus header

Time line

1940s

1950s

1960s

1970s

1980s

1990s

2000s

Cinderella's Pals

by Ron Kurtus (5 Feb 1971)

NOTE: This is a skit I wrote when Wally and Jean were visiting Hjalmer and Margaret. It was similar to the skit we had done New Years Eve 1971, that was so funny. Unfortunately, Wally's mind didn't work too well from all the drinking he did, and he screwed up the taping of the skit.

CAST:

  • Muggs and Jean are the Wicked Stepsisters
  • Hjalmer was Cinderella
  • Ron was the Good Fairy
  • Wally was the Handsome Prince

(This story is true. Only the facts have been changed to protect the innocent. The story happened years ago in a small cottage in a town known as Duluth. Yes, believe it or not, the town is called Duluth)

Muggs: Cinderella: Cinderella, come here immediately.

Jean: Yes, hurry up you meathead! We've got to get ready for the prince's ball. I want to be especially beautiful, so that the prince will dance all the dances with me.

Muggs: No, I'll be the beautiful one who he will sweep off her feet.

Muggs and Jean: Cinderella!

Hjalmer: Coming, wicked stepsisters.

Muggs: Where have you been, you lazy banana-head?

Hjalmer: I've been cleaning the outhouse, like I was told.

Jean: That place better sparkle, when I go in there next time. Did you put some new reading material in there, in case we have guests over?

Hjalmer: Reading material?

Jean: The Sears catalog, you dummy!

Hjalmer: Yes, wicked stepsister.

Muggs: Now help me with this dress so that I will look beautiful for the prince's ball.

Jean: And help me fix my hair so that I will look even more beautiful for the prince's ball.

Hjalmer: I heard he's a real dreamboat.

Jean & Diggs (angry): Cinderella, get to work!

(Later that evening, after the wicked stepsisters have left for the ball, Cinderella is sadly sitting by herself, paging through the Sears catalog. Then suddenly she sees a bright light and somebody enters the room.)

Hjalmer: Who the hell are you, buster?

Ron: I'm your magic fairy.

Hjalmer: From the looks of that outfit, I'd say you sure are.

Ron: Oh, silly. I'm here to make you beautiful so you can go to the prince's ball.

Hjalmer: I thought you looked familiar. Arent you Mr. Leo, the hairdresser?

Ron: No time for chitchat now, sweetheart. We've got to get you ready for the ball. First, you take a shower, while I fix up your dress.

Hjalmer: But I took one last year.

Ron: Sniff, sniff. You're telling me?

Hjalmer: OK, I'll take the hint.

(Meanwhile, at the ball, everyone is having a dandy time)

Wally: Hey, cutey. How about tripping the light fantastic with me?

Jean: Oh, Mr. Handsome Prince, I'd love to.

Wally: You don't have to be so formal, tomato. Just call me handsome prince. What's your name?

Jean: I'm the wicked stepsister.

Wally: That's unusual. I just danced with a tomato with the same name a little while ago.

Jean: Is that the one over there? She's my sister.

Wally: Yeah, that's the one. Hey, cutey. How about tripping the light fantastic with me?

Muggs: Oh, Mr Handsome Prince, I'd love to.

Wally: You don't have to be so formal, tomato. Just call me handsome prince.

Jean: Hey, what about me?

Wally: Flake off, Charley.

Muggs: You heard what he said. Beat it.

Hjalmer: Hey cutey. how about tripping the light fantastic with me?

Wally: Hubba, hubba. Now there's a girl that speaks my language.

Muggs: Hey, what about me?

Wally: Flake off, Charley.

Hjalmer: You heard what he said. Beat it.

Wally: Honey, your the cat's pajamas.

Hjalmer: Oh, you like my outfit? Mr Leo, my magic fairy made it for me.

Wally: Where is that fruitcake?

Hjalmer: He's standing right over there.

Wally: Hey cutey. How about tripping the light fantastic with me?

END