1807 Paterna Rd
Santa Barbara, CA
Helen Reddy Show - Comedy Bit
by Ron Kurtus (1973)
(Enter Reddy dressed as Charlie Chaplin)
REDDY: And now I'm going to sing a few songs that the great Charlie
Chaplin made famous...
(Reddy waddles around a la Chaplin, and then she starts to sing. But
she just moves her mouth rapidly, as in a silent movie.)
(Enter "Three Dog Night" group dressed as ducks.)
REDDY: What in the world...?
(They march around stage ad-libbing "Quack, quack, quack.")
REDDY: Why are you fellows dressed up like geese?
GREENSPOON: We're ducks. Don't you know that ducks go "quack
quack" and geese go "honk honk"?
REDDY: Yes, I guess you're right.
GREENSPOON: Now, if you were hunting and a flock of birds came into
sight and went "honk honk", what would you do?
REDDY: I'd step aside and let them pass.
Actually, I don't believe in hunting.
GREENSPOON: I know, but that was just part of the joke.
(Enter Dionne Warwick dressed as Groucho Marx, with coat, mustache,
cigar, etc., walking in Marx's famed gait.)
WARWICK: Say the secret word and one of these ducks will come down
and brain you. (laughter) Don't say the secret word, and they'll all
come down and brain you.
Hi Helen. What are the fellows dressed up like ducks for?
REDDY: They haven't told me yet. Say, you know the difference between
ducks and geese, don't you?
WARWICK: Well, I'm familiar with the domestic type. You know, the
little white ducks and geese people have for pets?
WARWICK: Well, the little white ducks go "quack quack" and
the little white geese go "honky honky".
That's a little "in" joke.
REDDY: I was going to tell a joke, too, but I think I've changed my
ALISUP: That's a relief.
REDDY: OK, Mike, would you care to tell us why you're dressed up as
ALLSUP: Well, we were all thinking of joining the new, action Army.
WARWICK: Joining the Army? What do the duck suits have to do
with the Army?
ALLSUP: You see, we join the Army, right?
REDDY & WARWICK: Yes.
ALLSUP: And because they're not so strict anymore, they let us wear
these duck outfits, right?
(slight laughter from audience)
ALLSUP: And then when we see a girl in uniform, we all go, "WAC,
WAC, WAC, WAC..."
REDDY: (laughing) You fellows get ready for your next number. Come
on, Dionne, let's sing a song.
("Three Dog Night" exit in a conga line, going "WAC,
WAC, WAC, kick, WAC, WAC, WAC, kick..." Then Reddy and Warwick
sing a duet.)