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Roving Reporter with the Cat Lady

by Ron Kurtus (5 May 72)

REPORTER: This is your roving reporter here in front of the Ajax Pet Shop. They have some rather cute puppies in the window, chewing on a pair of old shoes. Oh, oh. I guess they'll have to find something else to chew on, because the man just walked away. +

Well, anyway, we our doing our man-in-the-street interviews right outside of the Ajax...Oh, here comes somebody now... Oh ma'am. Ma'am...

LADY: Are you talking to me, sonny?

REPORTER: I'm the roving reporter, ma'am, and I'm interviewing the various people on the important issues of the day.

LADY: My goodness gracious me. Is this television?

REPORTER: No ma'am, we're on the radio right now. This mechanism I'm holding in my had in a microphone.

LADY: My goodness me. And I was just in the pet shop buying a cat.

REPORTER: Would you care to answer out question of the day?

LADY: See, he's in the basket here. He's a cute little fellow, isn’t he?

REPORTER: Oh, yes. Charming. Now the question of the day is...

LADY: Question?

REPORTER: Yes. I'm going to ask you our question of the day; What do conflict? And do you think that the inter trade of stuffed olives is an essential issue?

LADY: (silence)

REPORTER: Well? What is your opinion on this important matter, madam?

LADY: I was just thinking... I wonder if he should have company.

REPORTER: Ma'am?

LADY: My new cat. I wonder if I should buy a playmate for him. Cats don't like to be along, do you know that?

REPORTER: Sure, go ahead. Buy two, if it makes you happy. Now as far as this question goes, what is your opinion

LADY: But then again, cats do make such a mess, and two would mean twice the work for me.

REPORTER: Ma’am, we're doing our man-in-the-street interviews right now and we'd like your candid opinion on this important question.

LADY: Is this candid camera?

REPORTER: Oh boy! No Ma’am, we're on the radio right now. So, what is your opinion on this recent peace proposal?

LADY: (silence)

REPORTER: Ma'am? Your opinion?

LADY: Yes, I've made up my mind. I'll bring this cat back and get a puppy instead. Thank you for your help, young man.

REPORTER: I tell you, some days I wonder why I have this stupid job.