Human Nature - skits
by Ron Kurtus (22 Feb 72)
ALLEN: Say, excuse me.
BILL: Huh? Yes:
ALLEN: This is sort of strange, but - do you always sit at this
table here in the cafeteria?
BILL: Yeah, ah, sometimes. Why?
ALLEN: Oh, I don't know, it's sort of funny, but I remember sitting
here at this exact table, about a week ago, and you were sitting
across from me.
BILL: Yeah. Sure, buddy. You're alright.
ALLEN: No. Honest. I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but it just
struck me funny.
(BILL just gives him a look)
ALLEN: You know how people do things by habit. You know, you sit
in the same seat in the bus or at the same table when you have coffee.
BILL: Not me. I only sat here because it was convenient.
ALLEN: Yeah, but you know how people sometimes do things by habit.
You know, they sit in the sane seat or they tale the same path home
or something like that.
BILL: Some people may do that, but that don't mean that I do it.
ALLEN: But we all have habits.
BILL: I don't have no habits. I know what I'm doing when I do things.
I got to get going. (finishes coffee)
ALLEN: Well, I'm sorry I bothered you. It just seemed to me...
BILL: That's OK.
ALLEN: It just struck me kind of funny...
(BILL gets up, takes his neatly folded jacket off the chair, unfolds
it, turns it around twice, and then puts it on. As he leaves, he
makes a very mechanical path, which is somewhat out of his way, through
the other tables in that place. It is obvious that he is a true slave
Skit 2 - Human Nature
22 Feb 72
(Scene: a bar in early afternoon. Not many people in there. BILL
walks in and sits a stool away from ALLEN. He orders a drink.)
ALLEN: (after taken a swig) Boy, that hits the spot.
(BILL looks towards him and smiles, knowingly)
ALLEN: I was just dying for a cool drink.
BILL: Yeah, me to. Not much doing at work for me today, so I thought
I'd come down here for a quickie.
ALLEN: Ha, ha, ha. You too? I just snuck out of work to come down
BILL: Yeah, the drink always seems to taste better when you can
take it on company time. But aren’t you worried about your
boss catching you?
ALLEN: Naw, not today. We're supposed to get a new boss in today,
so he won't know which end is up there for a while.
BILL: Ha, ha. Is that right. Where do you work?
ALLEN: You ain’t going to squeal on me are you?
BILL: No, no. Just curious work over at Ace Insurance.
ALLEN: No kidding? So do I! I'm a salesmand there. It's funny I
never saw you there.
BILL: Well, I'm just starting myself. So there wasn’t much
to do today, so I thought I'd come down here.
ALLEN: So you just started, eh? Well that's great. I tell ya, there's
a great bunch of guys there. But, like I said, the only reason I'm
able to get down here is that we just got a new... (suddenly realizing
that this man may be his new boss)... we... just... got... a... new...
(quickly finishes up his drink).
Listen, I got to get going. I got a lot of work to do. So long.
Maybe I'll see you around. (rushes out)
BILL: (To bartender) What got into that guy? I thought he might
give me a few pointers on becoming a salesman.